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What is your child's handicap, special needs or not? Remember this isn't golf!

What is your child's handicap, special needs or not? Remember this isn't golf!

Guilt can make one feel bad.  I know it has me on many occasions.

Yet, when dealing with my child I come back to realizing I am doing the right thing for my child.

My husband would let this child go without learning hard lessons.

What is your child's handicap, special needs or not?

Let's start a point system.  Each following yes quetions is worth 5 points.  The closer you get to 100 the less handicapped your child is. This to me means the child or youth is better off?

Does your child know how to use the washer and dryer?

Can he vacuum?

Can he heat up a pizza?

Take out the trash?

Can she unload the diswasher?

Clean up the bathroom?

Fold clothes?

Can she do her own laundry?

Help unload the groceries?

Ask for help when she needs it?

Charge his or her cell phone?

Keep up with his wallet/cell phone and other personal items?

Remember family phone numbers to call in an emergency?

Know when and when not to call 911?

Willing to learn new skills?

Learning from parents?

Learn to go beyond their comfort zone?

Can they dust?

Mow the lawn?

Have parents that care that they learn these things?

I have a child  with special needs.  However the washer dryer question came from a highly college educated child.  For the first time this youth was home from college in the summer and his parents were upset with him and told him to do his laundry.  With intepredation I heard he called his dad at work, "Dad how do you work the washer and dryer?"  He had never done his own laundry.  Twenty something and this young man didn't know how to use the washer or dryer.

Guilt is what I felt when I thought my son may not eat tomorrow when I am out volunteering. Then I thought this is ridiculous.  I discussed this with my therapist.  I can't be tied to my son forever. I can prepare him or let him end up in a substandard group home where they warehouse these kids.

Remember you are a parent not your child's friend.  I felt guilt for a bit. My husband would make me try to feel guilt.  I decided to ask my son what he wanted to do. He decided he would rather reheat a pizza than call him a pizza.

This may sound like a stupid thing. However, my son's anxiety with autism is not a small deal.  His fears cripple him.  I have to push him to go beyond himself.  Why? Because I want him to be able to have a life.

Handicap is what you are doing if you don't push your child or prepare them. My son has called in a pizza.  My husband is a roadblock in some ways.  He just dosen't have the heart to tell this child, "No!" Or, to make him go beyond.

My son can't mow the yard.  He can't do a lot of things the male figure usually teachers the child.  One has to understand that my husband's father was not around for him growing up or his life was very different from mine.

I learned to mow the yard, babysit and do plenty. My father was in the Army; a Seargeant. My father pushed us to grow up.

Parents of special needs children or not.  You do your children a dis-service if you do not prepare them for this world.  When you start feeling guilty remember you had your child and it is your responsibility to be a parent not a friend.

Do you have to be perfect?  No! But, you do have to be a parent.

In golf, some want a high handicap when playing others that are better than them.  In real life no one knows what will happen.  Prepare your child the best you can.

Make your son do the laundry, carry out the trash and more.  You know what your child is capable of and you can push him as far as he can go.  But, don't be a Disney, "Feel Good Parent," or shun your parenting because you are afraid.

Step up to the plate and be a parent and don't handicap your child.

Laura Crean, Author and Friend Nominates me for a Liebster Award.

Laura' Blog is The Well In The Garden @ http://thewellinthegarden.wordpress.com/ She is the fine writer of Poetry, Children's Books and Science Fiction.  I  bought her poetry book Vision and couldn't put it down.  Check her books out at http://www.lulu.com/spotlight/LauraCrean.  You won't regret reading any of her books for sure!

The rules for the nominees are:

• Create a post about the award on your blog  Check.  This will be done later and it will be no easy task from what I have learned so far.
• Thank the person who nominated you and create a link back to their blog Check.
• Share 11 facts/interesting things about yourself .....The rest of course weill be a Check as it will be done in this post.  Have fun with this.
• Answer the 11 questions that you were given by the person who nominated you
• Nominate 11 bloggers.  It’s supposed to be 11 bloggers who have less than 200 followers, but I have chosen some who have more than 200 followers –  if you want to go back to nominating those with under 200 that’s entirely up to you.

• Create 11 interesting questions for your nominees to answer
• Inform your nominees by posting your nomination on their blog.

Interesting things about me.

1.  I am a pharmacist that thinks if you can do without drugs you are better off but I am here if you need me.

2.  Acutally, I am on disability now.  I had a huge car wreci in 2008 that left me with 5 to 7 fractures, a mild TBI, lots of arthritis and a chance to learn to write.

3.   My son with Autism, other special needs has taught me how to live right.

4.  My father, whose parents died early in life turned out to parent very wisely learned all on his on mostly. I guess by knowing what type of parent he wanted to be and the military teaching him how to teach.

5.  I love kids for they teach us how to stay young.

6.  My favorite animal ever is Spike, a dog, that has the same broken hip I do.

7.  Poetry started as therapy.

8.  Writing is still therapy.

9.  I voulunteer a lot and have for over thirty years doing different things.

10.  In college one of my favorite nights was climbing windmills in Weatherford, OK.  No drinking except Cokes.

11.  What I want from the writing most of all is to connect and share.

Questions from Laura

1. Philosophy on life in one sentence

Praying I have done what God wants and followed his plan the best I could.

2. Favourite author?

Winston Churchill

3. Who inspires you?

Tanner Mack Adcock, George Tanner Mallo, Dorothy Mallo, Twilla Mallo ( son, parents and sister) and many many more!

4. Poetry or rap? Poetry

5. Hunger Games, Twighlight or Harry Potter? None of these. Sorry Laura

6. Ballet or Pantomime? Pantomime.

7. What food can’t you live without? Icecream

8. 4 things you would save in a fire…  My family, dogs, photo's and then other meangful trinkets

9. American football or Soccer?   American footbal

10.Beach and hotel or camping and hiking?  Beach and Hotel and camping/hiking....I love both.

11.Cool quote…Churchill, "Never give up!" + Patton, "If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking!" 

My nominees in no particular order:

http://lisaleben.wordpress.com/ Lisa Leben's Blog

http://supermommytotherescue.com/  Stacie Lewin

http://5kidswdisabilities.com/

http://chrismartinwrites.com/

http://myaspielife.wordpress.com/

http://hessianwithteeth.wordpress.com/

http://theme.wordpress.com/credits/attentiallupo2012.com/   Even If I don't always at first understand before translation; the pictures tell part of the story.

http://fisticuffsandshenanigans.com/

http://letsreachsuccess.com/

http://craftcreateconnect.com/

http://pmarcasays.golaun.ch/

http://angieneto.wordpress.com/

Eleven questions.

What made you want to start writing?

Blogging?

Tell about one of the five most live changing events in your life in a short summary.

How do you know me?  If you do?

How do yo deal with rejection? Or, do you even care? How do you learn from it?

What is your spirtual inspiration?  If not spiritual then primary inspiration for life.

Are you married (signifiicant other count)?  Tell us about them in two sentences.

How do you depend on yourself when life gets tough?

Why are you happy to be a Liebster Award Nominee?

Seriously, did you know anything about this before this?

Are you happy about this? Sum it up in eleven words are less for me.

Tipton Anderson PhD Black Man and Dead Man

                               Tipton Anderson PhD Black Man and Dead Man

Tipton Anderson PhD Black Man and Dead Man

 For purposes of protecting privacy I have changed the name of this man. This is an interview that has occurred over many years. Yet, his story is worth telling. I will condense it as if it was an interview.

“Hello Mr. Anderson. How are you today?” I ask.

“Fine Just fine.” replies Mr. Anderson. He should be addressed as doctor because of his degree but prefers mister.

“Mr. Anderson will you please explain how we know each other for the establishing our relationship.” I say.

“You came out and helped me without my asking one day at the grocery store. I know how busy pharmacists are. That impressed me. So I checked your prices and changed over to your pharmacy. I am glad I did. You are my pharm-cist druggist as we older ones say.” states Mr. Anderson.

“Mr. Tipton what state are you from and what did your parents do?” I ask as my first question.

“My parents were sharecroppers and I was born in Mississippi. I picked cotton as soon as I could. My whole family did” pride shows on Mr. Anderson’s face as he talks. He is a soft spoken man that really never boasts. You too can hear the tone of pride.

“Where did you get your PhD?” I ask.

“I went to Washington University in St. Louis.” Said Mr. Anderson

“Wow. I bet that was hard being a black man in the depression. I told Rev. Smith the other day that stealing is hard to justify. He said how about a mother that is trying to feed her family. I said that is a hard one but then I thought of you and your wife having your degrees and getting them during the depression and being black. I so admire you. It could not have been easy. How did you get your money for school?

“I ran a pool hall and worked long hours there. My wife did all kinds of work.” Mr. Anderson says. This time his expression gets serious. “You know Sandra people today don’t want to work hard. I mean really hard. I know you do because we have talked. Your father made sure you knew what it was like to work hard from a child. But so many do not get this at all. You raise your children the way your father did you! HEAR ME!”

“YES SIR. I hear you. I intend to just that.” I let him know I respected his age and elder authority in a way.   I go on to ask, “How and when did you meet your wife?”

Mr. Anderson beams with life again. “I meet her in a class. I knew from the first time I saw her that I was going to marry her. I would court her the proper way. I did and we married after we both finished our PhD. Now we have been married almost seventy years. Sandra that is true love. Don’t settle for anything less.”

“Mr. Anderson, what brought to Guthrie, Oklahoma?” I was really curious. He could have gone a number of places but he chose here.

“Originally it was Langston University. We both taught there. I ended up being the principal of the black high’s school in Guthrie. Then when the schools were integrated; I was the first black principal of the high school. I had no trouble with the whites or blacks. If either one needed a spanking I did it.” Says Mr. Anderson.

“When did you retire and what do you do now? What are your hobbies?” This is my next question.

“We spread our time between hear and Palm Springs. We do all sorts of things. I love golf. My wife loves to shop. We really only come back here to check on family and go to the doctor and take care of the house and bills. Of course to see our little pharmacist that makes sure we take our medication right and won’t let me fill our medication twice. Remember that time you told me to go home and find my medication? You said I could get it again but why spend the extra money?”

I shake my head yes. “It is always easy to wait on you. I like being able to do real pharmacy stuff when you come in. Instead of just being forced to go non-stop rush rush. You know how we are backed up so often. Thanks for the interview.”

The Wedding That Followed Murphy’s Law

The Wedding That Followed Murphy’s Law

            “What store are your flowers and cake coming from?” asked the replacement caterer/wedding planner for Homeland Stores Inc. Homeland Stores was also where Sandra just happened to work as a pharmacist.

            “Store number 888. Don’t you have a record of that? You have done this before?” Sandra states in a very huffy mood.

            “Oh yes. Of course I have. Yes, Yes. I see it here right now. Don’t worry Sandra everything will be perfect.” said the replacement.

            August 21, 1993 rolls around. Sandra is at the church early, as all brides usually are, getting ready. Her hairdresser was doing her hair and makeup when the door open and the planner steps in. “Sandra, do you know what store is doing your cake and flowers?”

            “It is 888 but shouldn’t you know that? Is everything going as planned? Will the cake be here and the flowers? Is my wedding going to come off as planned? What kind of a planner are you? ##########. Do you offer this kind of service to our customers?” Sandra belts out.

            The hairdresser says, “Sandra your make up is perfect don’t start sweating…or get to excited. It will all come together I promise.” Sandra chills at this point thankful for such a person as Melissa. Melissa then starts on Sandra’s hair.

            About an hour before the wedding the flowers arrive. Pictures are being taken. The cake has not arrived. The planner tells Sandra it will be here. “Sandra we have one small problem. Where are your toasting glasses? It was your responsibility to furnish them.”

            Sandra starts to turn red; again Melissa steps in “Twila and I will get this one. If you mess up my makeup job I will kill you. Do you understand?” Melissa goes to the local mall and buys some toasting glasses.

            The pictures and wedding itself go off without much of a hitch. Of course there is the normal amount of nervousness everyone is feeling. At least the Bride and Groom never noticed the little flower girl that had to be taken to the bathroom in the middle of the ceremony.

            As it comes time for the reception, the couple enters the church gym. Sandra takes one look at the cake and sees a leaning tower. The cake is crooked and looks like part of it has fallen and not baked well. Tina, Sandra’s best friend, sees Sandra’s eyes. Tina knows she had better keep Sandra away from the planner.

            The cake was not the only thing that went wrong. In the end Sandra got a refund for the whole affair. Really though who noticed? Sandra and only a few of those in the wedding party were aware of the flaws that took place that day. Many will talk for years about the cute little flower girl that had to go potty in the middle of the ceremony. Most remember the guitar player and the photographer. If you asked any guest if they liked the spread set before them they respond that it was quite delightful. Even though this may have been The Wedding That Followed Murphy’s Law, the marriage was blessed by God that day. Joy can come in the middle of chaos if those that want to see joy see it.

BUREAUCRATITIS

Bureaucratitis Infected United States Government

Our United States government has become infected with Bureaucratistis (a

disease where bureaucracy has inflamed itself to cause a slow down in moving

forward and a culture of stagnation where the entity is more important than those it

should serve of the “We the people,” government). Our government has outgrown

some of the purposes of individual agencies and groups. Many of these groups fail

to realize they serve the people and actually have the force of writing law with t

their regulations clauses.

The Health And Human Services, HHS, umbrella’s a gigantic conglomerate.

A few of the departments include Department of Education, FDA, CDC, NIH and

more. Duplication is rampant. The total budge for 2013 appears to be $896.4

billion.*Fifty-five percent of that is for Medicare along with administering it. *

*Thus, leaving that off there is $397 billion left. I am not sure if this includes

grants they exercise authority over. That has been hard to figure out and research.

However, I personally do not belief it does. If I am correct, imagine how much

more power that adds to this gigantic conglomerate .

Now, I know we need some of the groups under the HHS. But, the resources

that are spent on finding good information goes to waste. The huge conglomerate

produces information failing to get it where it needs to be. In a number of my blog

posts I show this over and over. September was Children’s Cancer Month. My 
five years of reading gave me pages that have all of the latest research on

children’s cancer on one page. http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/factsheet/Sites-Types/childhood. Also, here is a booklet available online about young people and cancer; almost a all you need to know guide at this page

http://www.cancer.gov/cancertopics/coping/youngpeople/page1/AllPages.

With all the misinformation on autism out in the public, one might think the government might want to advertise two-ten year research projects by the National Autism Center on best practices in health and education; available for download if you are a family or education. Here are the exact PDF titles if you want to download them and qualify; NAC NSPReport_FINPDF is on health and NAC EdManuel1_Finalpdf deals with education.

Do we really want to save money and lower the cost of dealing with premature infants and complications that arise from them? Do we let the hospitals and practitioners have the latest information? Another one of my blog posts centers os information from our government. Free kits are available for hospitals and families that deal with getting an infant from the hospital to the home with all this entails. Here is the dirt on them and how to get them. Named “Transitioning Newborns from NICU to Home: A Resource Toolkit”  can be found in PDF form on the web named nicutoolit.pdf. “Transitioning Newborns from NICU to Home Family Information Packet,” can be found on web in PDF form under nicupacket.pdf.

Here are a couple of resources that are grouped together because they deal with special needs and Individual Education Plan’s (IEP’s). Few teachers or educators I questioned new about www.intensiveintervention.org. This is a great site with information on difficult students and how to work with them. Webinars are presented quite often. Everyone has heard about the high dropout rate of high school students. Right? Few knew about www.dropoutprevention.org. These resources have value but because of Bureaucratistis, the resources are skipping the target audience. Instead they work within circles of circles feeding more information and research back into the cause that duplicates research.

The government offers all sorts of webinars and services on how to help transition a special needs youth into adulthood. The Lead Center is one such resources at http://www.leadcenter.org/. The labor department talks about designer employment. This is a system where people design jobs with the strengths and weaknesses of candidates involved. It starts people thinking about job possibilities for special needs youth. Again, where is the information in getting to the parents and teachers?

How about free assistive technology? It is available but somehow escapes the teachers. Check out www.cast.org. Then under the menu where it says “Learning tools,” one can find a book builder( http://www.cast.org/learningtools/book_builder/index.html), science writer (http://www.cast.org/learningtools/science_writer/index.html), Cast studio of ideas (http://udlstudio.cast.org/) and more.

Literacy tools on health are provided by AHRQ, Agency for Healthcare and Research. I took yet one more set of tools to produce a complete blog. PEMAT, Patient Education Material Assessment Tool is available at http://www.ahrq.gov/professionals/prevention-chronic-care/improve/self-mgmt/pemat/index.html. More tools one will find there can help improve pharmacy or medication literacy; AHRQ Pharmacy Health Center, Self-Management Support Video Library and Health Literacy Topics (profession specific)

Why has this information escaped the intended audience? BUREAUCRATITIS! The information is produced, duplicated and re-researched but the intent to get it to the end user is lost on the groups producing the information.

I laugh now. I applied for a Presidential Innovative Fellow to work on these specific things. Go to http://www.whitehouse.gov/innovationfellows/open-data-initiatives and read the intent. It is to bring government and the people closer together. I applied. BUREAUCRATITIS strikes again. More government to solve a problem that ignores a solid idea as I stated in my application.

Finally, BUREAUCRATITIS is costing us health dollars. The information generated in triplicate could be used to pay for more health care. Cutting this unfathomable growth of government is a must. BUREUARCRATIS must be given a dose of hard tasting medication. Could imagine what would be going on now if the intended information were reaching the intended audience? Duplication and groups cut back? Grants would not be like free power to be used politically? When will it stop? Now how much does this group compare to the Military Budget? Think and compare.

*Department of Health and Human Services FY 2013 Agency Financial Report.
**Department of Health and Human Services FY 2013 Agency Financial Report.

Tamborhytms. com

http://www.gofundme.com/95d984

Asking for donations

http://www.gofundme.com/95d984

Blogging the alphabet. "D says demonstrate for others."

Blogging the alphabet.  "D says demonstrate for others."

Demonstrate means to show by example.  Demonstrate also is defined as, "to display openly or publicly, such as feelings." Alke words include; establish, exhibit, flaunt, prove and authenticate.

Teach comes to my mind.  A teacher demonstrates to students in learning.  He or she shows students how to to something involved in learning the material of that classs.

Prenting comes to mind.  A parent does a alot of demonstrating.  Showing what to do and how to do it.
A parent should lead by example.   This may mean doing things over and over.  Sometimes the parent must relearn something he/she made a mistake on and requires unlearning on the part of a child.  This isn't really unlearning but the process of learning from mistakes.   That is called life.

Military people teach by example and lead this way.  They establish and exhibit the behavior and profeciency they expect.  Remembe these are the peopel that protect our country so the level qulaity expected is very high.

God/Jesus/Holy Ghost is the ulimate demonstrater of qualities in life expected of us.

The Bible says how to live.

        John 15:7 (KJV) If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall as whad ye will , and it             shall be done unto you.

        II Timothy 1:13 (KJV) Hold fast the from of sound words, which thou hast heard of me, in faith             and love which is in Christ Jesus.

        Romans 3:10 (KJV) As it is written, There is non righteouse, no, not one.
        Romans 3:22-24 (KJV) Even the righeousness of God which is by faith of Jesus Christ unto all             and upon all that believe for the is no difference. For all have sinned and come short of the glory             of God; Being justified freely bu his grace through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus;
   
       Romans 2:1  (KJV) Therefore thou art inexcuable, O man, whosever thou art that judgest: for                wherein thou judgest another thou condemest thyslef; for thout that judgest doest the same thigsz
 
       Ephesians 4:26-27 (KJV)  Be ye angry, and sin not: le not the sun go down upon your wrath:
       Neither give place to the devil.

These are but a few verses to show/tell a person how to live.  Even if one takes God out of the equation the Bible is  a great book for living by.  It is a code of honor and way of living.

Faith is the hardest lesson to learn and then it is the easist in ways.  God demonstrates his majesty in the structure of the Earth.  The beauty of the Earth stand as a testament in my eyes.  That order follows a form equal or close to Bible ways when none has been preached again says deonstrates to me how God reveals himself in the way he wants us to live.

Again, take God out of the equation.  Doesn't not judging another because one does the same things sound like good advice?  Accepting anger is our nature but making up before the sun goes down?
I take these verses as exhibits that the Bible is a way to live that God demonstrates to us in his Word the Bible

writing contest see the links for more information

SUBMISSION GUIDELINES: 

1. Essay/blog post content of 700-1200 words. Non-essay content of any length including poems, lists and/or flash memoir.

2. Content must be mom/family themed (swearing is acceptable) and can be humorous, serious or sentimental.

3. Can be previously published (we will hold non-exclusive copyright).

4. DEADLINES: Mom for the Holidays, May 31st; Adventures in Potty Training June 31st.

5. Submit a link to your blog post/s or attach your Word .doc/s to:  submissions (at) monkeystarpress (dot) com.

6. Submit ONE piece per email. Subject line should read: MOM FOR THE HOLIDAYS or POTTY TRAINING, depending on which anthology you are submitting to. 

7. In your email AND at the top of your Word .doc, include your full name, title of your piece, email address.
8. COMPENSATION: Average payment after publication is $125 per single 1000 word essay.

9. All accepted essays will go through an editing process to make the writing and the essay the strongest and most polished it can be, while keeping the authentic voice of the writer. 

10. Submissions that are not accepted the first time around will be referred to resources and services on reworking writing for publication in anthologies, magazines, and popular websites. You are welcome to resubmit and we encourage you to do so. 

Help us spread the word!

Retweet from here https://twitter.com/mearth/status/464112511168434176
Share on g+ from here https://plus.google.com/108789879295865811560/posts/X9swQmbsvvm
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FAQs

Who are the editors? Lisa Nolan and Rachel Demas. 

What is their experience/background? Lisa Nolan is an independent publisher with a Masters Degree in English Literature and Creative Writing. She has been a mom lit and parent humor blogger since 2010. She is also the author of two books. Rachel Demas is a mom lit and parent humor blogger with a background in TV and industrial video production.

Who is the publisher? Monkey Star Press.

Where will the book be available? The anthology will be available on Amazon, book stores, libraries, and on Kindle.

How will the book be advertised and distributed? The book will be promoted on over 30 blogs and their social media platforms including Facebook, Pinterest, Twitter, and Google Plus. The book will be available through Ingram and Amazon.

Will the writers get paid? Yes, average payment is $125 for 1000 words.

What rights do authors retain? The publisher will hold non-exclusive rights.

C says "Continue to be creative while complying if your conscious agrees."

                      C  says "Continue to be creative while complying if your conscious agrees."

Life is a Puzzle seeming to have one piece missing all the time.

C is the word that says continue creativity in compliance when the conscious agrees.

All the Colors of the Rainbow and a circle seem never ending

God wants us to continue until we finish his plan for us.  He has put us here for more than fun of watching us create, mess up and do right when we turn around by worshiping him.  He wants us to enjoy life.

Proverbs 16:9    King James Version  9 A man's heart deviseth his way:         but the Lord directeth his steps.

God gives us talents continue to develop.   In the Parables of the Talents Mathew 25:14-30, those that do so are rewarded in being creativly compliant with a conscious desire to please God

Continue means to go on.  Persist in what one is doing. Or, resume.  Those that continue believe in God in the face of adverse conditions, testing of faith, or economic hard times; will continue through out their lifetime.

Creative involves the imagination in the production of art or work of some type. A creative person has the ability to make new things.  God is creative in making us new again in Christ. God is creative in helping us figure out our life.

Creative quilting

Complying with a conscious that agrees.  This is something God teaches us with his word. The Bible is all about right and wrong.  Joy and what will lead to a way of life that ends the wrong way.  The following two verses some it up for me on how life shall be if we "complying with a conscious that agrees."

Saved

KJV Matthew 6

33But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.

34Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

If we follow these two verses we will be continuing to be creativly complying with a conscious that is in agreement with God.